A Truth Universally Acknowledged

But I’m not jealous of things or grades or class rank or whatever. I might get jealous for a few moments if someone has a book I desperately want or they’ve got a 100 in a class I’m struggling to get an 87 in, but it passes quickly.

What I’m really jealous of is people. People that get to have a “normal” life. Friendships that last a life time. Friendships in general. That easy way some people have when interacting with others. How easily some make and keep friends. The way some people can suck up and manipulate and get away with it because the person they’re doing to doesn’t care or just because nobody will call them on their bullshit. I’m jealous of people I consider friends “replacing” me with other people because it’s happened so many times in the past, I always expect it’ll happen again.

I’m jealous of people who get normal lives and normal friendships. I wouldn’t be happy with it, but it’d be a hell of a lot easier.

And I apologize to the friends I do have. Sometimes I get clingy or obsessive or overly bitchy about other people or needy. But that’s me and I hope you can accept me, damaged and flawed as I am.